Etiquette

YAY! I've made it to my second blog post, and I have yet to be shut down! But I see you guys are trying to get me shut down, considering the fact that most of you voted for "something REAL controversial" But, since you guys want me to do something controversial, I decided to blog about a topic that I know will strike a nerve in anyone...

Costco Sample Etiquette

Yes, yes I know call me crazy, I am really going too far, but hey you guys asked for it so here it goes.

The following passage will consist of tips, hints, and advice on how to survive the Costco Sample scene. Cuz, it is a jungle out there.

The first thing that I am going to talk about is EXTREMELY important. Which is why I put it first. I'm gonna talk about Sampling Safety.

When it comes to getting samples your safety is extremely important, and no I'm not just talking about getting shanked with a plastic serving fork, I'm talking about the most deadly thing, the food.

No matter how sweet the servers are, still keep your eyes peeled. You can still be friendly, but watch how they handle the food. Make sure that if the server has the sniffles or coughs, they don't sniffle in your fruit juice or cough all on your garlic bread.

Once, I saw a server drop one of the samples on the counter, and pick it up and serve it. The sample fell in the exact space where a little boy had wiped his booger. Luckily, I took the sample and threw it away! But you see, these are the kind of things you must be aware and alert about. These are the kind of actions that should be done to make sampling a safer place.

Also, keep your eyes peeled on the exact place of your sample. For your safety, I have created a diagram for you.

Here's something that every sampler should know: Don't bring any useless baggage (kids, carts, that really awesome space heater you found on aisle 2, etc.) because it gets in the way of EVERYONE. But, note that this extra baggage (if and only if used properly) can easily get you more samples at once.

Which brings me to another topic, one that I like to call "The Rule of Thirds (and Seconds)"

Here's the scenario. You just tried some of the iced coffee, and its delicious, but you were extra friendly with the server. Will she remember your face? Suddenly, your mind is overcome with different ideas, that start to stress you out. Should you change your hair? Should you go home and put on different clothes? How will you ever get another taste of that deliciousness? and the WORST question of all: What if you get banned from Costco for taking too many samples of the same thing?!?

Well calm down, I mean you probably look like some psycho freaking out.

You don't want this to be you.

So first take some deep breaths even if they do smell like the deliciousness you've been thinking about. Now here are some things you can do.

1. Just go take another sample, I mean do you not know the definition of the word 'sample'?

n."a small part of anything or one of a number, intended to show the quality, style, or nature of the whole; specimen."

2. Use another person. Please note that this option only works if you have multiple siblings, or multiple amounts of cash to pay someone

3. Walk around a little bit, and wait until either the servers changed or its been a long enough time that the server has forgotten your face (1-3 mins.)

Now sample lines are an extremely serious topic. Although it may seem as if the Costco sample lines are just scrambled about, this whole line theory shouldn't be taken lightly.

When it comes to these lines they don't really exist but then again they do.

Its kind of like the theory on UFOs/aliens (which I totally believe in). Some people have experiences with it and they believe, then you just have believers, and then you have the non-believers.

Anyway whether or not you see a sample line, you must act as if you do. Here are some rules to follow and make sure you don't get shanked by that sweet old lady who just wants to try the Tilapia.

1.Be sweet to the old and young. As in, if you see an elderly lady and/or man that is sampling the same thing as you, make sure you don't grab the sample right from over there noses (even if you were there first). Same thing goes for younger kids. But be in mind that if that person is anywhere from their late teens to their early 50's you snatch that sample from under their nose as if they stole it from you.

2.Don't cut! I mean the previous rule only goes for if you were there first. Because if there is someone (WHATEVER age) that was there before you, don't cut them, its simply and utterly rude.

3.Don't get pushy. It doesn't matter if you're super excited about that pesto chicken, because it gets weird, and uncomfortable for the people in the front of the line. If it gets crowded enough, don't try to crowd surf, I know it doesn't work. The only outcome is a foot in a microwave, and probably a concussion.

Also, be aware of the sampling schedule. Generally this is how the schedule works.

Monday to Thursday = the avegare days, you’ll find average samples with average tastes, and its all average (not that I’m saying that they don’t taste good, cuz they do)

Friday = Delicious Day, pretty much this is the day where they put out all of they’re really good samples.

Saturday= SUPERDUPER AWESOME SAUCE DAY! This is the day when a lot of people go to Costco (cuz usually its they’re day off of work), so Costco wants the people to buy as many items, so they really go out with a BANG! They’ve got stands made specifically for certain restaurants, it’s a five star day. I recommend going to get samples on Saturday.

Sunday= Leftovers, this is the day when Costco has just given out ALL of there best samples to offer on Saturday, and all of the really good ones Monday through Friday. So on Sunday, you’re most likely to find samples like these :

Anyway, those are the tips that'll help you survive any Costco Sample line! Please note, that if these tips don't help its not my fault, and you can't sue me for the cost of getting the plastic serving fork surgically removed.